Life lessons from Jordan

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

I want to share something that I have been experienced in my life before. Not too long ago, I studied in Jordan for about 3 months. It was for a TV programme actually but then there were problems happened which made our story couldn't be published. Nah, I didn't feel anything about that actually. For sure you or I or whoever see themselves in the television are going to be on cloud nine. But, it isn't about that I want to talk about. 

When we live,there were many things happened in our lives. We go through the ups and downs. We learn many things from our experiences. We gain lessons and will not repeat the same mistakes again. So, here I will share the lessons that I gain when I was in Jordan. 

First, you MUST try to adapt yourself well with new friends and new people. Try to get to know them better by not keeping a distance from yourself and others. Mix with them well. We don't know when we'll die so appreciate all the people around you although he/she hates you. The one who hates you that makes you a stronger person. 

But, in a relationship with human we must remember our morale that have been taught by our Prophet, Rasulullah.

For example, don't make excessive jokes until you touch about their private lives or their 'aib. Second, don't talk too much because the best word is what is little but has benefits.

Try to not displease other's heart because whoever hurts other's heart will never get into paradise.( A hadith)

Second, you MUST always husnudzhon with people. I know it is hard,right? But at least, try!

Even when your mind is talking about fulan, delete it back by istighfar. Husnudzhon about they might think about us and husnudzhon about them. Don't talk people's bad behind them and find their mistakes so that you can tell all people about it. Refer to surah al-hujurat verse no.11 -12. Don't carelessly say 

"Oh,she is very bad because she is close to men" 

"Oh she must have been a date with men. Bad girl!"

"Oh she is fashionable. She must not know much about Islam."

"Oh she is imam's daughter but why don't she act like one?"

"Oh she wears long hijab and abaya but why don't she act like one?"

And so on

Third, don't get too close to men whether in real lives or media social. Allah says 'don't you go close to zina' with many reasons. One of them is to avoid from slanders and to take care of our purity. 

For examples, when you're always whatsapping with a boy the your friend sees you. Then, she starts to spread the rumor about you and that boy. You start fighting about it. You explain that it is just a normal friend relationship and she says sorry. But at the same time, people know you're close with the boy and it is true! Don't put all the blame on your friend but put the blame on yourself too because you're the one who starts the flame. That is why the Prophet is really worried about his ummah in this last zaman because slanders are easily spread. A woman will never have a guy close friend without rumors. 

Fourth, for men out there I really advise you to not give hopes to woman.

"Oh fulanah, I really love you and want to marry you"

Then, you disappear like dust. Although at first you feel like you're really ready to get married but don't give hopes to woman you want to get married to until you have a stable economy, finished your study and learnt many things about how to be a leader in a family and about Islam. And please, don't you ever try to test that fulanah either she is really good or not because woman's heart is very lure and soft. You will just destroy her like that. You don't have any right to test people. Only Allah has!

That's all from me. Thank you :)